The last month or so has been pretty tough for me. I have been a little ball of stress. So much so that it has begun to impact my relationships, my health and my every day happiness. I have tried week in and week out to get past this, pulling out some of my biggest tricks to calm myself, to no avail. This stress and unease has just sat and festered, deep within my soul.
Which is totally not okay in my book.
After some reflection, I think I have discovered the source of this unhappiness. I have always been one to go all in in pretty much everything in my life, sometimes to the point of where it becomes detrimental to me. In the past I always just forged through and finished the job, but I am different now. My needs and my happiness are key and when those are threatened, something has got to give.
I graduated from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, a health coaching program, this past spring. Since then, I have thrown myself into this dream of changing my career and becoming a holistic health coach. While I don’t like to admit this, the pressure I have put on myself to achieve this dream has been enormous. And sadly it has gotten to the point where I have forgotten why I fell in love with it in the first place. It has become more of a chore than a hobby; a To-Do list item instead of a passion I don’t even have to write down in order to accomplish.
I have fought and tried to push through the natural resistance that my body has been throwing up. I’ve wondered why I just can’t get motivated, why I am so exhausted. I’ve blamed my job, I’ve blamed my dog (bless his little soul), I’ve blamed the weather. You name it, it’s probably been blamed at one point. But maybe the problem is actually within me and completely within my power to change. I never thought to take a step back and actually question what I was trying to do to begin with, until now. Better late than never right?
I have written a lot on this blog about going with the flow and how things unfold in life just as they are meant to and if we follow the path of love and what fulfills us most, we will find true happiness. So I am going to do just that.
I’m going to take a step back (maybe for the first time in my life) and really get back to basics. Go back to my formula for happiness and just do me. Read some funny fiction novels for a change that I haven’t had time to read lately and just spend time with those I love. They certainly deserve it for putting up with me for the past month or two…
I love this blog and am so proud of everything I have done with it. I truly love writing and sharing my thoughts and emotions with you all every week. But I am going to take a little hiatus. I promise I will be back soon, hopefully re-inspired and full of new ideas. Fall is the time for grounding after all and it’s about time I got back to my roots.
Thank you for your support and understanding.
~So much peace and love~