Today marks the start of a new chapter in my life. After many days of indecision, weighing pros and cons and hours of contemplation about what I wanted in my life, I decided to pursue a new job. It was a very hard decision for me to make, a scary but necessary leap. My constant mental deliberations went something like this: Do I just stay where I am and grin and bear it until I am ready to leave the corporate world or do I see what is out there that I may enjoy doing in the meantime while I grow my business into a self sustaining venture? I asked myself this question over and over again. Ultimately I went with the latter and chose to search for something that would make me happier now. I realized that life is too short to just grin and bear it and that holding on to a future possibility of something better doesn’t really help solve the problems of the present.
So I searched for an opportunity in my current field (accounting) that would hopefully be less stressful, provide me with new adventures and allow me to save some money on the side to fuel my dream. I did this with a promise to myself that I would continue to pursue my dream of becoming a holistic health coach on the side and to not let excuses and whatever life throws at me get in the way of one day achieving that dream. Today is the first day of that new job. This decision and new path has got me thinking a lot about change, why we do it, why we avoid it, and what emotions can come up at these big turning points in our lives.
Do you like change or is it something that you avoid like the plague? Take a moment and really think about where you fall in this spectrum. Are you maybe in a current position that you don’t really like but are scared to leave because you are afraid you may fail or afraid of the uncertainty of trying something new? Or are you a frequent changer, always looking for the next opportunity and not scared to take on new adventure?
I think I fall somewhere in the middle, leaning a little bit more towards the frequent changer end. One of the main reasons that I am able to take on change with confidence is due to how I grew up. I was raised in a military family and moved often in my youth. Every few years there would be a new home, a new neighborhood, a new soccer team and a new school. It was terrifying in many ways but I also learned how to adapt, meet new people and build a new life. These skills have come in handy often in my adult life, but also make me somewhat restless. Every few years my body starts to subconsciously prepare for change and I get antsy. I have tried many a time to bury this feeling and stick on my current path. I ask myself, why do I want to move again? Why do I not feel comfortable and happy right where I am? Why do I always have to constantly look for the next best thing? What if I never get comfortable and settle?
After thinking about this further I have realized that there is a reason my body feels this way. It is because I have not yet found where I am meant to be. All of these decisions I am making and the emotions that come with them are taking me one step closer. When I reach this place my body will know and it will lay down roots.
To me, resisting this pull to change that I feel is akin to stifling my potential and shortchanging myself. It is keeping me from a fulfilling, life-affirming future. And I think I deserve nothing but a future like this. I think everyone deserves a future like this and that we shouldn’t stop changing until we reach it. Of course life will always have an aspect of change to it, we don’t live in a static world. There isn’t just one place to reach where time will just stop and everything will be rosy and happy, though sometimes we wish it would.
I believe that there is a point of potential we can reach. Where our current dreams can be realized and what awaits is a truly happy and fulfilled life. It is possible to achieve but is not easy by any means. This path can be filled with hurt, pain, sorrow, and doubt. But it can also be filled with joy, contentment, achievement and confidence. The key is to remember these good times when the road gets a little rough and bumpy and to stay the course.
It may take my entire life to reach this place or maybe I will reach it in the next 5 or 10 years. But I’m not going to stop searching, adapting, changing. And when I eventually get there, I’m sure more dreams will pop up and I will continue my travels, but from a place of confidence that I have my roots to support me in whatever direction I choose to go.
Life is an adventure. If you are not happy with where you are, what can you do to change your circumstances? It doesn’t have to happen overnight. Even just thinking about it is the first step. Get in touch with yourself and follow that lovely, big, pure heart of yours. It knows exactly where you are meant to go.
~Peace, love and cheers to your next adventure~